fuckfuckfuck

I'm in fucking F-land!
It's damn cold.
There r only about 10 TV-channels.
And most of them are Finnish..some are Swedish.
Everyone talks Finnish.
Everyone is Finnish.
And im so sick of all this already.
Can someone just come here and take me back to San Diego.
I need foreign friends.
I need life.
I need motivation.
I left my motivation to do things in So-Cal.
I have nothing to do here..
I'm still in Vantaa and I'm not going to Eura until saturday..

I cant wait to see my Nappi though..
and get back into my room..
see all my things there.
And my family.
But thats about it.
Thats not a life: seeing old things and spending a couple of happy days with your family. Then it just gets aaaaaall back to normal. To Status Quo.
I left too many things behind.

I'm not sure how I can handle this.
I need to get out. But I cant.
I guess I dont wanna go out.
It would just make me really realize what the fuck is going on..
And what is it thats going on over here? Well let me tell you if you dont know yet:
I'M IN FINLAND.

I'll try to post some pics. I try to take some so-called good pictures..
Maybe I can cheat myself to believe that maybe its not that bad after all.
Im in denial.
COOLIO!

liar liar loves you

When I wake up in the morning, I do it for you.
When I lay down to my bed and sleep, I think of you.
When I dial your number, I wish I had the courage to push the 'call'-button.
When I finally see your face, I feel alright.

You are nothing I thought you were.
Everything I knew was good in you, was actually better.
Flaws I thought you had, never existed.

When you wake up in the morning, you don't make your bed.
When you lay down to your bed and sleep, you think of beer.
When you should be dialing, you wish you didn't need to.
When you eventually see my face, you feel nothing.

I'm everything you thought I was.
You know nothing about me and that's the truth about me.
Flaws you guess I may have, I have them double.

Nothing feels better.
Everything dulls you.

I keep going on,
even when you ripped my heart
out of my chest:
it was yours anyway.

Why didn't you make your bed?
I'm sorry my heart was beating so loud you couldnt possibly sleep!
Why you thought of beer when you laid down to sleep?
I'm sorry my heart made you stressed out!
Why didn't you wanna be dialing 911?
I'm sorry my heart drove you crazy!
Why you felt nothing?
Because I took my heart back and you feel lonely without it.

If you are not at the bottom yet,
I wish you get there soon.
And FYI, I'm not coming with you.