hello reality.. It's me, Jonna. I'm just calling to ask what the fuck is happening!?

ok.
tomorrow 5.30 im leaving my home and going to the airport.
then 8am flying to Washington D.C
from there ill fly to Munchen
and then to Helsinki
yippee?

ps. how to pack bags efficiently? EASY! Just wash the clothes in the wrong temperature and they will shrink.. go me.

change

Change is such a horrible word.
I dont usually find myself in a situation where it's a good thing.
Very often some homeless people ask if I have any change. Some are 'clever' enough to make up some kind of story to hold on while harassing me. "I need just a couple of bucks to buy a train/bus/trolley-ticket!" - "I'm hungry and I need to buy food!" - "Why lie? I want beer!"
I even have a funny birthday card about change( and Barack Obama). And he was/is all about change. Changing the US and A to a better place and make everyone happy.

My change isn't like Obamas. It's not like homeless people's.
I have to admit though, that there are a couple of similarities, like "I wanna make the world better place" Well, who doesnt! Since the person who says this lives in this world too..and in this case it's me who's speaking. I could use some change too. Money-change. But I'd need a lot of change to get what I want. And what I want, is not some kind of bus/train/trolley-ticket. But my plan of making myself happy does include a ticket. Where exactly? I have no idea.

I'm not gonna tell anyone about these plans. They have to read them here. It's gonna be so much easier anyway. Since I know a lot of people who wanna know or just ask(and dont really care). I can just tell them to read my blog, and thats what they will do, if they really wanna know.

So I've found a school where I wanna get in. And to my own surprise, it's in F-land! It's not the easiest school to get in.. Or so I've heard. But I'm gonna try anyway. Next year. So during the next couple of months, I'm just gonna work. I also wanna do some of these things:

- see my friends and so-called friends
- see my family and relatives
- go to walk in one of our own forests
- cut down a tree
- dye my hair( nice dark/dirty blond roots <33333*sarcasm*)
- lose weight. (No buts and ifs)
- spend a lot of time with my loved one: Nappi aka Napa , the biggest reason why I allowed this change to happen
- redecorate my room with new pictures
- be a nicer person
- work and earn money
- go to a cruise to Sweden
- improve my Swedish skills
- improve my French skills
- improve my Italian skills
- improve my Russian skills
- read a book
- eat finnish candies!
- eat my mom's home-made (finnish) food!!!
- ride my bicycle like I've never rode it before!
- maybe start writing my blog in Finnish..
- show the animals/people I like how much I really care
- go to see my friends' apartments
- go to see my friend's baby
- go to shop at a local supermarket and pack my own groceries in the bags I brough in with me
- cry and cry and cry
- get wasted
- help someone
- go to sit in a sauna(ugh..I dont like the place really)

and a lot of other things.
But as you can see, the most important things are missing:
-go to the movies
-wander around in a local mall
-speak English to local people(in F-land they will throw me out of the store if I try that: "What u think u are!? American? This is fucking Finland!")
-meet a lot of new people
-meet a lot of foreigners
-chat with random people on the street
-give a couple of bucks/cents/dimes to a homeless person
-see homeless people(just mentioning.. seeing them is not important at all!!)
-take the trolley to places
-shop!!
-do some quality shopping at some quality stores
-eat at McDonalds, BurgerKing,Subway..
-get drinks/smoothies from CoffeeBean and tealeaf , Jamba Juice & Starbucks
-order pizza/pasta online and get it delivered behind my door
-be in the US

This is gonna suck.
In a way.

Tomorrow I need to do some tiny tiny tiny shoppings. I'll show u if I find what I'm looking for. And I need to take CDs and books back to library. Print my tickets(=a paper where is the secret number that should be enough..Let's see did Cultural Care give me the tickets or not.) Go to downtown and have a farewell-dinner with my amazing hostparents. Or well.. friends. They are not like parents really. More like good sister and good brother. Oh or well..a good sister and her good boyfriend and visa versa. (After all, they r married and calling them a sister and a brother..ehm.. not working)

Btw, I was in L.A -area yesterday. But I guess I'm not gonna have time to post about that tomorrow.. It has to wait till.. wow.. till I'm F-land I guess.
But I can tell you that I saw some famous places..and faces!
Jay Manuel!!
To mention the best one<3
I was so stoked during and after I saw him.
And gosh, he is so pretty. Unreal.

a glass of milk.

A couple of days ago I was totally broke. I mean like seriously broke! And not just broke, I was in debt! I still am but I'm not that broke anymore,and I'm in bigger debt.

But the debt I'm in now, isn't just a financial debt: I'm also in indebtedness. My year as an AuPair ended a while ago, but I'm still living here in my hostfamilys house. (Wow, that just sounded like I just live here with my own permission, but no, it's not like that) I think it's just so great that there are people like my hostparents. Not everyone is so lucky to find people like "my people". They even gave me an opportunity to work more! (Something that I didn't always appreciate: working more than you are supposed to! Maybe it was just that working over-time with onions/carrots/cabbage/potatoes isn't that mind-blowing..)

I may be going back there to the onions and stuff when I go back to F-land, but I hope I find something else. Something closer to my place. I'm gonna concentrate on finding a job asap when I go back. And when I find it, then I'm gonna let everything out. Meaning let myself cry and scream. That's just something I need to do. I don't feel like crying or screaming right now, but that's because it hasnt hit me yet. I don't even feel like I'm going away. I feel like things are changing but I have no idea to which direction. Is this 100% good thing? Or 100% bad? Or is there a little bit of both? If so, how much bad and how much good?

I think I'm gonna take the kids to the mall tomorrow. And maybe McDonalds. Let's see. Today I'm gonna "baby-sit" the kids from 5 until about 10pm or later. (Kids go to sleep at about 8pm) and tomorrow is all ours:) And if any old hag says:"Oh, aren't you a little too young to have TWO kids?" I'm not going to say: "They are not mine. I'm _just_ a nanny." I'll say: "Who are you to judge?" or "Aren't you too old to judge" or "It's not 1920's anymore.. This is now. Oh, and btw, I'm THE nanny."

Candies.

Once again not so irrelevant title, since I'm gonna dedicate this post for the candies!
I love them. I love all sorts of candies.
The candies I've bought in Estonia,France,Monaco, Singapore, Malaysia and Italy were pretty ok. Like normal american brand candies, like KitKat, M&M, Snickers and Mars. But here, in the womb of M&M's.. the candies just suck! Twizzlers are pretty okay usually. Most chocolates taste, well, just bad or they don't have a taste of any kind!! Making bad candies should be against the law! I've a pretty strong relationship with Sweet Factory though.. There I can at least decide what kind of bad candies I want, and how much. Usually I go with pineapple jelly beans, black licorice, sour gummi poppers, Haribo-like gummi frogs, chocolate buttons, tiny bananas and Good and Plenty's.
(those who don't know what Sweet Factory is: http://www.sweetfactory.com/)



Not exactly the cheapest candies on the market..But not my fault that it's right next to my movie theatre!
So, the candies here suck. BUT. Not in F-land! That's maybe the ONLY thing that's (probably) permanently better there than it's here! Fazer forever. And it's not just that I haven't gotten any finnish candies for almost a year. Oh no, my dears.. I've gotten plenty of them! Thanks to the traditional mail. And Mom. And Xmas trip to F-land. So I had have chances to compare.
I used to eat candies in F-land quite a lot actually. Hah-hah, that explains a lot really.. Thank god, I had to ride my bicycle to school and back 5days a week! So about 13kms everyday. Oooh, how I miss my bicycle. I really hope no one has touched it..Like my stereos. Mom promised that I'll get them back though..But if something bad has happened to them while my sister had them, I'll just flip I think. Like when I let my lil sis and bro use my laptop. They had it for 40minutes and when I got it back, there was a HUUUUGE scratch on it!! But back to candies.
I sometimes had these crazy phases: like Fazer Lontoon rae-chocolate-phase, when I ate it EVERY FUCKING DAY! And not just one bite. More like one hundred bites. And Pätkis-phase. Or Sisu-phase. Or gummibear-phase. Or Lontoon rae-phase. Or salmiakki-phase. To honor those phases, I'm gonna post one pic of those phases. It dates back to 22/06/07. So over 2 years ago:

Here, I don't have anything like Pätkis-phase..or Fazer's Lontoon rae-chocolate phase! I can't have any candy phases here! There's no candy that is so good that I could eat it every day!!
Okay.. actually..There's ONE candy I could eat every single minute of my life though. And that's eyecandy! And here..is plenty of that! For those who are not here in San Diego. What do you see when you look out of window? Nothing special? You can hate me now: I see palmtrees, mountains(in finnish standards they are mountains ;)),the sun(or the moon/stars if I look out during the nighttime..)..and eyecandies. Yeah, shirtless guys prancing around with their skateboards. So I guess this makes the situation pretty even, or maybe 2-1 for the USA. Unfortunately I won't post any pictures of those candies. But believe me when I say: I don't need to go to Sweet Factory so often, because I have a window with a view straight into the Candy Shop..