a glass of milk.

A couple of days ago I was totally broke. I mean like seriously broke! And not just broke, I was in debt! I still am but I'm not that broke anymore,and I'm in bigger debt.

But the debt I'm in now, isn't just a financial debt: I'm also in indebtedness. My year as an AuPair ended a while ago, but I'm still living here in my hostfamilys house. (Wow, that just sounded like I just live here with my own permission, but no, it's not like that) I think it's just so great that there are people like my hostparents. Not everyone is so lucky to find people like "my people". They even gave me an opportunity to work more! (Something that I didn't always appreciate: working more than you are supposed to! Maybe it was just that working over-time with onions/carrots/cabbage/potatoes isn't that mind-blowing..)

I may be going back there to the onions and stuff when I go back to F-land, but I hope I find something else. Something closer to my place. I'm gonna concentrate on finding a job asap when I go back. And when I find it, then I'm gonna let everything out. Meaning let myself cry and scream. That's just something I need to do. I don't feel like crying or screaming right now, but that's because it hasnt hit me yet. I don't even feel like I'm going away. I feel like things are changing but I have no idea to which direction. Is this 100% good thing? Or 100% bad? Or is there a little bit of both? If so, how much bad and how much good?

I think I'm gonna take the kids to the mall tomorrow. And maybe McDonalds. Let's see. Today I'm gonna "baby-sit" the kids from 5 until about 10pm or later. (Kids go to sleep at about 8pm) and tomorrow is all ours:) And if any old hag says:"Oh, aren't you a little too young to have TWO kids?" I'm not going to say: "They are not mine. I'm _just_ a nanny." I'll say: "Who are you to judge?" or "Aren't you too old to judge" or "It's not 1920's anymore.. This is now. Oh, and btw, I'm THE nanny."